:: random free write ::

Silence yields more results
If i speak in an accusatory tone
It does more to discredit me
So...i say nothing...
Ignoring the urge to shout my disdain
With the petulant fool you became...or started to show.

We speak of of Karma in a negative light
I am one to believe the universe brings what you have given it
No one justifies how fast or how far it reaches
No one can impose it

And if it appears you have slid away with purpose
That your course is righteous
That all the insolence that was once a part of my spirit
Is without cause...
Then...your journey will be free
...but your conscious will ultimately pay.

(I have no idea where i was going with this...sooo...yeah.)

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:: a word on the universe ::

If you have ever read The Alchemist...the ending describes how much i feel the universe laughing with me...instead of at me. I have exchanged math with this woman for 5+ years...avoiding the obviousness of the connection we have been building...all this time...all this time...right in my face...*laughs*

Alright universe...you got me...again. i will let you keep the reins in your hands from now moving forward. Everything i suffered in every relationship was for this moment. I cannot describe the joy i feel...nor can i describe Us. But i am, finally, exactly where i was meant to Be...and you do not have to believe me....you just have to remember. This isn't a fluke. Jumping the gun. Feeling the butterflies in the beginning. Trying to stifle the pain of lost love. None of that. The universe has led Us here. Together. Right where we should be. I love her.

*smiles*

As you all were.

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:: pause for the poetic cause ::

"Elemental Me"

I am water
Life force
Nature replenisher
Movement when disturbed
Cleanser of the soiled
Promise of renewal

I am earth
Steeped deep in tradition
Rich in nutrients
Abused and unappreciated
Forgiving and strong

I am wind
Four corner hugger
Cloud pimp pusher
Sky ridge glider
Lung decompresser
Fast stride with purpose

I am fire
Destructive in the wild
Comforting in the cold
Necessary for food processing
Gentle when standing alone
Exciting and scary always

I am You...You are We...We are Us
Join hands now...
and let Our energies
Be.

As you were.

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:: unsent #2 ::

Dear You:

10 years have passed since we last crossed paths. We've spoken here and there since then trying to maintain a friendship after the dog and pony show. It seems we'd head down the path of well wishes and quickly get blown asunder all because i could not and would not give you what you wanted.

I overstand why you wanted it...me. that is not a moment of arrogance but the truth is i have watched you kill yourself slowly...thinking this is a good punishment for how you treated me. We're older now...and a lot more has happened in each of our lives since then. I forgive you. Start living. You deserve to be happy too. Take that into your spirit...if these words should ever befall your eyes.

Love always,
me

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:: unsent #1 ::

Dear You,

I hope life is treating you well. It appears that way from my distant observation. Years ago, we had an opportunity to develop...something. I am not sure what it was but I know it did not start off the right way. I was in a relationship and you were you. I want to say, for the record, that my interest in you was very real and that i did not see you as a potential mistress. You exposed the cracks in my unhappiness more than you know but...you also made me take a good hard look at who EYE was as a person. To this day, i still think you are beautiful but i no longer desire you this way. Maybe if you can ever get past the person you think i am and see me, we could be good friends....or maybe we'll just be what we are now. Strangers...that exchanged a brief moment of recognition between us...and now we exchange...nothing. Either way, if you ever come across this, you'll know its meant for you. And i hope you feel the sincerity in my words.

Peace,
Me

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