>: explosive :<

"the consumate angry poem"

sincerely me and you
that was my creed
when did it change?
who wrote the rules?

science this shit ain't
neither is it math
you can call it English
Shakespearean twist notwithstanding

choosing to accept the fallacy of this nightmare turned reality is feasible
cause...cause i always thought it was us against them
always thought we would find our way back to one another
but never at the expense of a misunderstanding

let the record reflect that i get it
that it isn't because you don't want it
fear consumes you and naturally our instinct is self-preservation
but trading that for depravation is not an option

when you get the gist of where i am coming from
and look at where you stand
just remember this was your choice
and i had no say in the matter at all...

Published with Blogger-droid v1.4.8

>: "Purge" :<

(backdrop song to this write is "the calm")

release a ton of stress
let go of the pressure in my chest
giving 100% but it still ain't my best
treadmilling in circles gets me no rest

reaching out my hand to the empty feeling of air
twisted negativity where postive living is rare
and dealing with my problems with not a hint of pomp, circumstance, or flair
breathing in and out accepting the truth of being right here

i deal better when i'm all alone
cut off the technology and go into my zone
picking the bad nutrients and severed flower stems from my bone
floating aimlessly through life is the life of a drone

never asked for this pain
if you holding an umbrella over me i can still feel the rain
the holes in my psyche keep me humble and in my lane
but to prevent inevitable discord i just hide my disdain

its sensible to regroup and find solid ground
but its hard when your body keeps feeling like kapow
an explosion through your system while you're tilling at the plow
my faith was once strong but now its nowhere to be found

and unless you've been in my shoes...you can't make me choose
my alarm clock is ticking and i can't keep hitting snooze
can't ignore the obvious and my vice of choice is booze
but if i keep down this rugged path i will end up on the news

so you see my smile maintained
and my perception of someone in my corner began to wane
i imagine life is harder for those who have accepted the fame
money and trappings of a star make it easier to ignore the shame...unless you're Kurt Cobain

this is all from my head
sharing my personal strife is a choice that i dread
dealing with these demons will make you chase prison and feds
but its also the very reason why i'm not yet...dead.

if you truly can relate
you already know my fate
being strong in the face of opposition
the best direction i can head in...i just wish someone would listen
placing my crown underneath water is not so i can glisten
but mostly to drown out the world and hope i'm not found by an old man fishing

you may think i've given up
look again...this is the beginning of my rise
if you look into my eyes...
you'll see a warrior spirit with her focals on the prize
concentrating on the future and not looking back at my demise

just know my head is in the right place
i try to avoid mental brawls
but every now and again i, too, can hit some walls
trying to pick myself up and get to moving on my on
but facing reality and realizing at this moment my life is on....pause.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.4.7

>: face it :<

"strike a match"

part of the heart of my art
leans toward peace and sustenance
picking your battles doesn't make one stronger
especially if you only fight when winning is a certainty

standing in the face of opposition is my strong suit
the measure of a hueman grows there most
choosing the path of least resistance makes your persistence seem...
futile.

when exercising the freedoms of speech
it is best to rely on cautionary wisdom
lest one stands on a soap spouting conspiracy theories
speeches and marches only reach those who already know about it

the pretext of your context is obvious
you seek to destroy the idea of dissension
but...outside the box is where fertile ideas are seeded
and i am just the right amount of sunshine the world needs...
try to stop me.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.4.4

>: inside you're ugly :<

"superficial inner beauty"

your mask is your solace
an escape from the trepidation of real time
so long as the facade of genuine concern is present
no one will see past the faux pas of your mishaps

see me...i'm an action verb
you are more like a set of cloudy adjectives
pretend the colorfulness in your personality is truth
spirit eyes can see beneath your surface

outside your body is a temple
you tell us that respect of your inner is a must
how can this rightfully exist when you allow violations?
for i am but a storyteller observing your story

they don't love you...you don't love you
and choosing to accept materialism for affection
is just another ill-fated choice in your book trilogy
change the book...turn the page...
accept it all...without the mask...
that is the beauty that lies beneath...

Published with Blogger-droid v1.4.4

>: erotica #20 :<

"public"

venture to the idea of being caught
using your imagination
picture warm theaters and projector scenes
think of me fingering you in quiet seclusion

innocent trips to Baskin Robbins
ending in ocean views & sands
melted ice and milk dripping across your breasts
wind grazing your inner thighs

you see the starry nights in our backyard
legs spread open wide on a lawn chair
pool water reflecting the twinkle in the sky
tea candles illuminate your wetness...we are clear for landing

press the top floor of a 50 story building
ride with me to floor 25...halfway there
Enter the stairwell and lean you face first into the wall
inside of you, the steps reverb with our pleasure

let's try this shirt with these pants...
see if something fits your curves to perfection
insert my fingers inside your queendom
whispering your favorite mantra..."this pussy is mine."

assume we are traveling across country
rest stops lined up for this purpose
can you see your face between my legs
when you and i go public?

Published with Blogger-droid v1.4.1

>: 50 poems..or close :<

"instant vintage"

history teaches that if you learn not from it, it cycles
the cyclical conclusion of our experience is under rated
too much power was given in a scenario not likely
nothing ever materialized but the desire to manifest...desire
unwritten promises inscribed on the veins connecting to the heart
hoping that hope doesn't leave me hopeless
waiting patiently for our forever but dealing with the right now
BEing here between pause and fast forward is comfortable...just don't stop
this is our story...some day i hope to finish writing it with you...

Published with Blogger-droid v1.4.1

:: Commentary: money is the root of all evil

a few weeks ago, i tweeted how i believed that as long as we live in a monetary society, we would always live in a system of inherit debt. I think it was taken out of context...possibly because i never put it in the correct context lol.

My reference to money is not that of the physical paper that is denoted to be "legal tender"...nor of the digital transactions that allow you to pay whatever debts you owe when your paycheck hits your checking account. I am referencing those institutions presently in control of the distribution of money...and debt.

The Federal Reserve....ha...no more federal than Fed-Ex. i am not going to place my research here for you to divide and devour....it is something everyone should look into...and how the majority of people working for this awful place are the very banks that you deposit your checks into for savings and repaying the debt. JP Morgan Chase, Citigroup, and Bank of America just to name a few of the offenders. there is where you can start your research but i can tell you that what you uncover may...well...piss you the hell off...or it can make you want to continue being a sheep...with wool around the eyes removed.

Also, it is important to note one thing about debt: you will NEVER get out of it. Debt is something inherently built into the monetary system. What you didn't know? take into consideration the terms "inflation" and "interest". sure you may have a good credit score and do what you can to ensure your bills are paid on time and yadda yadda yadda...but the money that you have in your pocket right now(or account) already has debt attached to it because of those aforementioned terms prior to you ever touching it or even spending it.

Research it. i am really not giving any answers in this post because i want people to be hungry enough to seek change of some sort. there is never a perfect solution to any problem we as a society face....but there definitely are BETTER things out there that we need to look into....for our children's sake. think phreely and think differently.

hopefully, don't be as you all were.

p.s. commentary coming soon on why i started the "outside the race" poetry series

p.p.s. here is a good place to start: www.zeitgeistmovie.com

:: Eargasm ::

Enigma - "Traces" (Light and Weight) you're welcome.

:: and then this one... ::

Outside of the Race #1

Black is not a color...there i said it
So opens the flood gates of the new Negro's intellect
I'm a third party viewing this nonsense
Draped in African headdress doesn't bring the struggle closer to you

How you say my blackness doesn't exist because I don't fly the flag?
This class ism has me on pause when you're a willing participant
Measuring my culture by your cultist ways
Forgive me if I tell you and your ancestors to go to hell

We already there...nobody got us fighting each other but us
You right...I'm beneath you and your survivalist mentality
I preach freedom for ALL peoples...unbiased glory for all
Reach the mountain top holding hands in unison uplifted

Your color lines keep you color blind
There is no progress in your pretext
Downgrading the interruption of everything
Simply put....YOU are trivializing the struggle.

as you all were.

:: Poetry Corner ::

The Great

I blow breath mimicking 4 corner winds

Stand up to me and you're bound to collapse

Oxygen mask and defibrillator non-inclusive

Resuscitate your life through magnified lenses

Substance abuse can't jack my willpower

I've been taught to devour and leave no trace

DNA evidence notwithstanding your court trials

A superb being....mortal and immortal intertwined

Finish your sentence...quit pausing for ellipsis

Treasure seekers find no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow

You chasing technicolor dreams to catch me

I'm monochrome...black and white...between the lines

You can let ink bleed on tree sapped appendages

Notebooks and laptop GUI's for your viewers

I inscribe decrees of solace in the heart of monsters

Goblins and ghouls...stretch nonsense into sensibility

Verses you can see without glasses

Microscopic particles to up the ante on insanity

So when they ask you who i was...just tell them

"She was a being with no boundaries...and the world that is your mind was her playground."

as you all were.

>:: Commentary: Childhood ::<

Image: Looking back on all the experiences of my childhood, i would have to say that it wasn't so bad. Experiencing everything as an adult makes you appreciate the lack of responsibility and worry that you had as a child and teenager...after all, that is what my parents preached to me. I miss the days of only worrying about sports and passing math and coming home after school and practice to watch Fresh Prince that night or the Cosby Show or A Different World.

Life is what you make of it and with whom you choose to make it with can be the difference...but as we rear children of our own, let us not forget the enjoyment of childhood and NEVER take that away from your child. The mark of a good parent, in my opinion, is to hope that your child will have a better life than you do...and ensure that by walking them through the proper choices...and also by allowing them to make whatever mistakes necessary to help them become more well-rounded.

Whenever you're having a down day....close your eyes for a few moments...and remember pixie sticks....cassette tapes...good R&B music....good television shows...high school crushes...school dances...and the carefree nature of just BEing a child. Enjoy the vision.

as you all were.

>:: good people that are following me... ::<

hello. =)

as you all were.

>:: you're my.... ::<

"love you"

we end the day with it

start our night within it

travel past data frame rates

dig old records out of crates

breathe you and have become higher than meth rushes

your touches...enable me to take colon clingers to the right place...flush it

i can't fathom a love like ours dissipating...and of course they hate it

you would too if you were us that hadn't made it

compatible beyond reality's reason...

perfect for cold weather seasons

like down goose jackets, circa early nineties

with you i see a real future without chaos and fighting

i know i've typed of digging in your walls

of licking sugar from your non existent under alls(*wink*)

of scratching backs and causing contusions

but my greatest write is giving you, me...with no illusions.

i love you.

as you all were.

>:: take it ::<

"inside"

i curve lines to form a straight path

dangling between the cusp of reality and fantasy

we are the epitome of love realized

but never more than when inside

i carve a place in your heart and your walls

simultaneously bringing you down to earth

while i feast on the likeness that is you

my queen, i bow respectively in the presence of your essence

let me lick lasciviously

taste an article of confession

bless you with my spiritual

dem no wanna see we...cause we are fire

but i can weave similes into metaphors

personify the preposition of your adverbs

dance against gspot and watch tubs drain

all while breathing heavy and....saying your name.

as you all were.

>:: crown royal redux ::<

"inspiHer"

flow like water in rivers and oceans...

bound like the paper back scriptures of intellects past and present...

we are soothing....cool lemonade on a warm sunday...

it is the effervescence that leads to the burst of energy.....you and I...

how did we get here? doesn't matter...for our songs are being sung

but no statues will be erected in our honor

for there is an observer of life who quietly keeps our fortitude a secret

begging attention from those unworthy to receive our graces

we are queens....you are...my queen....and i bow for respect

though you may tell me to rise....respect, queen

bathe your feet in shea butter lotions and jasmine scented fragrances...

i inhale the scent of a goddess reborn....rebirth....re...turned

i'm grateful for the chance to cross paths

and leave our cross...sectional but together we form one...

so my pledge is excellence....honesty....the ability to be forthright

and never have to see a reflection other than my own in your eyes....

as you all were.

>:: i'm open ::<

i'll give you me

open like a chakra during rebirth

who is controlling our growth

we're the manifestation of earth

they can't figure out our world

they think we're half past crazy

why should i give them a clear picture

damn right it'll be hazy

cause our business is ours

and ain't nobody touching it

conversation heavy like the biggest loser

except we winning it

rhyme slow and bless ears with solace

tidal waves couldn't match our intensity

we stand on top of Jericho's walls yelling

step forward if you've got the propensity

cause us is new and we are sacred

shake doubters out their foot soles

Love has arrived quickly

now let us go...our story is about to be told

it's just you and I and i'll protect you

outsiders will try and infiltrate

next to you i'm stronger than Elmer's glue

you can't help but know it is fate

fuck being two ships in the night sailing

bound never to touch sails

i realize my heart for you has been ailing

and we're gonna ride the rails

to you i pledge my love

without the release of doves

and heaven only knows our course

but i'm happy to walk hand in hand to the final wetness...of conjoined moist/

as you all were.

>:: we stay relevant at all costs ::<

Before i begin, please visit my friend in the head's (not really) @smashedthehomie's blog to feel all of the chagrin at #FAILed and 90's swing back rapper Warren G and his disdain for the gays, which he tries harder than a porn star's penis to cover up...really go read it otherwise, this diatribe will make no sense: Warren G squirt's a doodie....out his mouth.

FIRST of all, i am too old to even have to address this shit....let me have a moment of arrogance and say that conversations like this are beneath me since i've been fighting with lightweight hating mofo's since i was 18 about MY damn sexuality.

Secondly, i HAVE to say something about this...basically this guy is saying that it is okay for us to return to the closet. Are you HIGH Warren G? If you're not, you should be. You are perpetuating the kind of sideline negativity that has kept gay people in the closet for this long. I'm not about to feel some kind of way because Will Smith and Tom Cruise are kissing on screen....if that ever happened...and not because i'm gay....I'm only stating that it is silly to try to hide sexuality of all things from a teenager. Now if your kids are 1 and 2 and single digit years in general, why the HELL would you allow them to watch something like this anyway, be it guys, chicks, or a guy and chick kissing? Don't try to blame your lackadaisical parenting skills on my sexuality and my choice to express myself either on tv or in public(though admittedly, i'm not the most publicly affectionate person...just saying.)

Thirdly, don't pretend that you have no problem with us when clearly you're backpedaling in this article. I hate that. Be honest about your feelings. I'd have respected you more than this tap dancing routine you were doing. AND why in shits name is VANITY FAIR interviewing Warren G ANYway?!

Bottom line, i'm tired of you straight folks wanting Us to play your game just so YOU don't feel uncomfortable. FUCK ya'll. and stop worrying about who i'm kissing, licking, sucking, and feeding.

Of all the shit in the world to be concerned with and GAY is what he talks about. you ignorant shoestring potato eating sonovabitch.

that. is. all.

>:: wake up and sniff the coke ::<

it's been a crazy 2 weeks....replete with drama and then more drama...but i'm starting to wade through the water and resurface....one true thing in life....when you go down so far....there is no other choice but to go up....or further down....and i have been battling with inner demons...past and present...trying to get even keeled because i refuse to take any of the madness that is my life into the age of 30.

i'm less likely to put up with shit....and because of that i've lost an ass of people that were in my inner square(circles are continuous. remember i said that.)....in the begninning it was painful...VERY painful....but my guess is that eventually i'll look back at all this and wonder what in the hell i was tripping about in the first place....

my spirit isn't broken....i am not bitter....and i don't want you. nor have i ever needed you. nor will i ever request your presence in my life again. believe me when you've walked the road i have, you learn inner strength and resolve....you learn that the most reliable alliance you can have is with yourself...and you learn that just because someone was the subject of your favorite fantasy, doesn't mean that you are meant to Be with them. so i pledge from this moment forward to say what i feel...and if my loins are more attracted to you than my mind, that is exactly what i will tell you....it is time to own up to the actions i've committed over the last few months....and let all that stupid shit go....and let you birds fall out of the sky.

that is all....for now....

>:: things fall apart 4 ::<

this is the true story...of 1 stranger picked to live in a world....and have her life blogged about....to find out what happens....when people stop being polite....and start being real....

true in living, you get what you ask for...and i don't know how many times i have to tell people that if all you seek is someone who visually stimulates you....then *insert ringing bell here* that is ALL YOU"LL GET....what kind of person puts wings on a pig and expects it to become an eagle??? of course that last sentence makes no sense as does wanting a family and to settle down and the perfect mate and you're doing everything you can to sabatoge what good does enter your life...and then wonder why you can't find happiness...you sad little gated community individual....maybe you should start with self....and actually FIX whatever the hell it is that causes you to keep driving the good in your life away.....

look i'm only going to type this ONE LAST TIME....and quote the good Katt Williams: "If you're over 25 and you're STILL attracting ain't shit niggas, then you need to figure out what it is about your pussy that keeps attracting ain't shit niggas...."

if you need help figuring this out, re-read this entry....and send all questions to phreethoughts@gmail.com...remember, you can remain anonymous....

i was once one of you....and i'm here to help. really.

>:: things fall apart part 3 ::<

i suppose i should just go ahead and make this a series....

anddddd....this entry is going to be an ode to the missed opportunities...please play copycat in your various blogs if you so choose because i think everyone needs to do this at some point in your life....just to move forward....

being rejected...or not given a chance to grow into something wonderous is...dismal....almost heartbreaking....i have identified 7 times in my life where i met women who i thought i gelled(not changing that) with and it turned out to either fizzle or as my sister from another mother would say, they japped out....i can't even explain the die downs....i just know that what i wanted, they either couldn't offer or didn't try to...i'm a firm believer in compatibility....but i also know that most of the relationships i entered that lasted a few years weren't because we had everything in common...actually, i HATE dating someone that i have everything in common with...it makes the interaction SO boring because there is no room for dissent or a different view....who the hell wants to date a yes woman? o_O

anyone, this is the RIP entry...so to you few sparks of energy that were extinguished, i thank you kindly for your time....

for those that rejected me, i thank you for reminding me that i'm not as dope a person as i thought i am...

and for those that never gave me a chance....well....i still harbor bitter feelings toward you that i'm trying to get over....i despise this worse than rejection because at LEAST you're given an absolute reason why shit ain't fly.....but i digress....i'll let it go...someday....and hopefully soon...

carry on...