>:: crown royal redux ::<

"inspiHer"

flow like water in rivers and oceans...

bound like the paper back scriptures of intellects past and present...

we are soothing....cool lemonade on a warm sunday...

it is the effervescence that leads to the burst of energy.....you and I...

how did we get here? doesn't matter...for our songs are being sung

but no statues will be erected in our honor

for there is an observer of life who quietly keeps our fortitude a secret

begging attention from those unworthy to receive our graces

we are queens....you are...my queen....and i bow for respect

though you may tell me to rise....respect, queen

bathe your feet in shea butter lotions and jasmine scented fragrances...

i inhale the scent of a goddess reborn....rebirth....re...turned

i'm grateful for the chance to cross paths

and leave our cross...sectional but together we form one...

so my pledge is excellence....honesty....the ability to be forthright

and never have to see a reflection other than my own in your eyes....

as you all were.

>:: i'm open ::<

i'll give you me

open like a chakra during rebirth

who is controlling our growth

we're the manifestation of earth

they can't figure out our world

they think we're half past crazy

why should i give them a clear picture

damn right it'll be hazy

cause our business is ours

and ain't nobody touching it

conversation heavy like the biggest loser

except we winning it

rhyme slow and bless ears with solace

tidal waves couldn't match our intensity

we stand on top of Jericho's walls yelling

step forward if you've got the propensity

cause us is new and we are sacred

shake doubters out their foot soles

Love has arrived quickly

now let us go...our story is about to be told

it's just you and I and i'll protect you

outsiders will try and infiltrate

next to you i'm stronger than Elmer's glue

you can't help but know it is fate

fuck being two ships in the night sailing

bound never to touch sails

i realize my heart for you has been ailing

and we're gonna ride the rails

to you i pledge my love

without the release of doves

and heaven only knows our course

but i'm happy to walk hand in hand to the final wetness...of conjoined moist/

as you all were.

>:: we stay relevant at all costs ::<

Before i begin, please visit my friend in the head's (not really) @smashedthehomie's blog to feel all of the chagrin at #FAILed and 90's swing back rapper Warren G and his disdain for the gays, which he tries harder than a porn star's penis to cover up...really go read it otherwise, this diatribe will make no sense: Warren G squirt's a doodie....out his mouth.

FIRST of all, i am too old to even have to address this shit....let me have a moment of arrogance and say that conversations like this are beneath me since i've been fighting with lightweight hating mofo's since i was 18 about MY damn sexuality.

Secondly, i HAVE to say something about this...basically this guy is saying that it is okay for us to return to the closet. Are you HIGH Warren G? If you're not, you should be. You are perpetuating the kind of sideline negativity that has kept gay people in the closet for this long. I'm not about to feel some kind of way because Will Smith and Tom Cruise are kissing on screen....if that ever happened...and not because i'm gay....I'm only stating that it is silly to try to hide sexuality of all things from a teenager. Now if your kids are 1 and 2 and single digit years in general, why the HELL would you allow them to watch something like this anyway, be it guys, chicks, or a guy and chick kissing? Don't try to blame your lackadaisical parenting skills on my sexuality and my choice to express myself either on tv or in public(though admittedly, i'm not the most publicly affectionate person...just saying.)

Thirdly, don't pretend that you have no problem with us when clearly you're backpedaling in this article. I hate that. Be honest about your feelings. I'd have respected you more than this tap dancing routine you were doing. AND why in shits name is VANITY FAIR interviewing Warren G ANYway?!

Bottom line, i'm tired of you straight folks wanting Us to play your game just so YOU don't feel uncomfortable. FUCK ya'll. and stop worrying about who i'm kissing, licking, sucking, and feeding.

Of all the shit in the world to be concerned with and GAY is what he talks about. you ignorant shoestring potato eating sonovabitch.

that. is. all.

>:: wake up and sniff the coke ::<

it's been a crazy 2 weeks....replete with drama and then more drama...but i'm starting to wade through the water and resurface....one true thing in life....when you go down so far....there is no other choice but to go up....or further down....and i have been battling with inner demons...past and present...trying to get even keeled because i refuse to take any of the madness that is my life into the age of 30.

i'm less likely to put up with shit....and because of that i've lost an ass of people that were in my inner square(circles are continuous. remember i said that.)....in the begninning it was painful...VERY painful....but my guess is that eventually i'll look back at all this and wonder what in the hell i was tripping about in the first place....

my spirit isn't broken....i am not bitter....and i don't want you. nor have i ever needed you. nor will i ever request your presence in my life again. believe me when you've walked the road i have, you learn inner strength and resolve....you learn that the most reliable alliance you can have is with yourself...and you learn that just because someone was the subject of your favorite fantasy, doesn't mean that you are meant to Be with them. so i pledge from this moment forward to say what i feel...and if my loins are more attracted to you than my mind, that is exactly what i will tell you....it is time to own up to the actions i've committed over the last few months....and let all that stupid shit go....and let you birds fall out of the sky.

that is all....for now....

>:: things fall apart 4 ::<

this is the true story...of 1 stranger picked to live in a world....and have her life blogged about....to find out what happens....when people stop being polite....and start being real....

true in living, you get what you ask for...and i don't know how many times i have to tell people that if all you seek is someone who visually stimulates you....then *insert ringing bell here* that is ALL YOU"LL GET....what kind of person puts wings on a pig and expects it to become an eagle??? of course that last sentence makes no sense as does wanting a family and to settle down and the perfect mate and you're doing everything you can to sabatoge what good does enter your life...and then wonder why you can't find happiness...you sad little gated community individual....maybe you should start with self....and actually FIX whatever the hell it is that causes you to keep driving the good in your life away.....

look i'm only going to type this ONE LAST TIME....and quote the good Katt Williams: "If you're over 25 and you're STILL attracting ain't shit niggas, then you need to figure out what it is about your pussy that keeps attracting ain't shit niggas...."

if you need help figuring this out, re-read this entry....and send all questions to phreethoughts@gmail.com...remember, you can remain anonymous....

i was once one of you....and i'm here to help. really.

>:: things fall apart part 3 ::<

i suppose i should just go ahead and make this a series....

anddddd....this entry is going to be an ode to the missed opportunities...please play copycat in your various blogs if you so choose because i think everyone needs to do this at some point in your life....just to move forward....

being rejected...or not given a chance to grow into something wonderous is...dismal....almost heartbreaking....i have identified 7 times in my life where i met women who i thought i gelled(not changing that) with and it turned out to either fizzle or as my sister from another mother would say, they japped out....i can't even explain the die downs....i just know that what i wanted, they either couldn't offer or didn't try to...i'm a firm believer in compatibility....but i also know that most of the relationships i entered that lasted a few years weren't because we had everything in common...actually, i HATE dating someone that i have everything in common with...it makes the interaction SO boring because there is no room for dissent or a different view....who the hell wants to date a yes woman? o_O

anyone, this is the RIP entry...so to you few sparks of energy that were extinguished, i thank you kindly for your time....

for those that rejected me, i thank you for reminding me that i'm not as dope a person as i thought i am...

and for those that never gave me a chance....well....i still harbor bitter feelings toward you that i'm trying to get over....i despise this worse than rejection because at LEAST you're given an absolute reason why shit ain't fly.....but i digress....i'll let it go...someday....and hopefully soon...

carry on...

>:: PSA: things fall apart 2 ::<

i hate the color red. never have liked wearing it but most people say because i am light-skinned that it suits me...i'm typing in this color for a reason though...i'm quite irritated while thinking of the shit i've been dealing with over the last few months...be it personally or professionally...

i'm still at that stage of life where people mistake my kindness for weakness...you know because i speak softly....don't raise my voice....and talk like i walked with 19th century poets and exchanged ideas of when being a hueman mattered...yes, all of that....passive sometimes...but i can become aggressive...and for those that have witnessed those moments...it isn't something you would pride yourself on seeing.

i am not weak....i am not a pushover....and i am not here for your amusement....i'm not here to provide entertainment...and i sure as shit ain't here to give you a thrill of the moment....if what you seek is something other than intelligence....positive energy...educated....real and raw to the motherfuckin' core....then don't waste my time. PLEASE. don't waste me time.

carry on.

>:: things fall apart ::<

it amazes me how the ex can seem like the best thing since sliced bread once we are no longer together...she does things that a real friend would...and i surmise that is the direction that we should try to veer toward...friends...that was the direction we were walking before venturing into a relationship...it is a positive upswing from the downward spiral we were traveling...and i am forever grateful that i can stand before her and offer something that perhaps even before i was incapable of giving...a genuine person and a genuine friend.

see....i'm growing up.

as you all were.

>:: weather pattern ::<

"brew"

like a pot of water

tip me over easy

i breathe demons and make your soul vanish

you small time like particles

colletively i'm your atom bomb

can't stop my thought process

clashing with times new roman text

swallow whole my the drum beat in your chest

i'm not rhyming for sake of fame

i rhyme for the sake of my name

a wordsmith beyond second lights

drove straight past 3 road splices

headed in a direction that most couldn't drive

i have arrived...i dare you to get in my way

who you? stopping me isn't an option

you 3.5 inch disks have only one choice....flopping.

as you all were.

>:: erotic prose #2 ::<

"spark"

give me a first chance to envelope you in my mental

dance around me like soda fizz fresh from orange Crush

skate around my fingertips and lifelines

wrap your subconscious in the thought of enjoying my presence

it seems arrogant yes...but i'll bet at one moment in time you sought me

dreamed about tasting my lips and reading my eyes

just as I have wandered through your phyiscal landscape in my third eye

and seduced you with my art of war

i can tell you about how i'd suck sins from your soul

and drip fruits in condiment-al bliss

licking lasciviously across your almond mounds

and bending your legs back in boomerang manners while vibrating against your walls

...yet more than anything, i want you to...want it....and me

not because you can see that i'd fuck your brains out...or in....

but because you can see the entire picture of two beings

disappearing into the fabric of abyss together....

....and yes, you will cum.

as you all were.

>:: erotic prose #1 ::<

"taken "

open your eyes...stop searching your eyelids for answers

a moment ago you swallowed the taste of your own skin on my fingertips

giving me a little bit of satisfaction at the way your body contorts

i think i could live in this moment through instant replay

you say you don't want to be controlled but i can see otherwise

teasing me with a view of your self-bitten lips

moaning with single syllable ecstasy

and my finger fuckin you into heart palpitations

i don't want it fast so i taste you through your panties

evolving into other worldly beings with sugar highs and 5 hour energy lows

Fiji water near bedstands and sheets ajar

give me something seductive and i'll mind fuck you into submission

watching scarves caress your wrists

restraint in this aspect is good

cause if you can't touch me you can't run

and i can feel the seizure bulding between your prism

i take a bow and use suction techniques past Oreck

call me Dyson because the technique is strong

you keep fighting me but i know you want to cum

and i'm prepared to swallow your nectar

inner thigh shaking...signal for closure

and i...stick my tongue inside

feel your walls collapse on my extremities

and watch your eyes search your eyelids while calling God with your vocal cords....

push darling...Kegels have done you well

and since your clitoris is still swollen with wanting attention

....round 2 should be nice...right?

as you all were

>:: 12:30a ::<

"plea bargain"

i have given it thought...and i should pass it to you
nobody knows the story of us....because it wasn't written
i have my regrets...we conversed in a manner not ordinary
and i can't help but wonder if the conversation ever ended...

i send you this silent innuendos of my intentions...
in a failed attempt at hoping you'll pick up my affections carry them safely with you each morning ...
but alas they've fallen on deaf ears...and blind eyes
and to my chagrin, you've forgotten that i'd protect you...

and anything you represent...with a feverish pitch past pneumonia temperatures
it's dark...and hell certainly is hot i will only rebroadcast this admission one time let's make a deal....you know i want you
let's not play that game....because we both suck at chess
accept what is....for what it will and can be
and watch my footprints across the sand carrying you past your pain...

COPYRIGHT 2009 PHREETHOUGHT ENTERTAINMENT

>:: 3 a.m. ::<

"Inspired"

Earth moves in revolutions...and hours stand still

my destiny is to become a speaker of free speech in a land shut down

you know not my capability and i'd advise you against stepping on spiritual stones

you can't crush the willpower of a forceful creature and merciful teacher

I spare your existence only because the balance is needed

Too much good and sweet produces rotten teeth

and complacency...comfortable with what is normal

my vocal cords shatter lung cavities into slow breath vestures

behold the sight of a black knight with breast plates

sword in hand approaching the forked road

looking at my choices in life and saying to the 4 corners

"watch me fly above them all".

wind through hair strands and light from hazel eyes

carrying the pain of 7 years of self inflicted torture

when my soul returns to mortal soil

you....will....tremble.

as you all were.

>:: you can run... ::<

...but you sure as hell can't hide. I don't overstand why people insist upon behaving in a way that doesn't align with their natural personality. I don't know if it is because it is easier to use facades to win people over or if you just GENUINELY don't like who you are as a person...but i'm a realist...if i'm a bitch, that is who i'll be....if i'm quiet, that's who i'll be....but what i won't be is a conformist...relishing in the attention of people that i might otherwise never deal with...and i think that is why i paused my foray into the music industry....because it is very easy to surround yourself with some not so great people...but that is life in general but it appears to be on a grander scale there in my opinion....i don't deal well with facades...i don't deal well with knowing you're being a fake frozen fish....i don't deal well with ANYone who claims to be a friend but when it really counts, you are nowhere to be found....

This is also the ugly dragon in relationships too....i had my fill of trying to be someone that i'm not in a relationship before and it didn't turn out pretty....matter fact, the next person i date will most likely have happened across this ad on my blog: "wanted: woman who will accept me for who I am and not what they want me to be. must realize that the sun doesn't shine on their ass and must also realize though i have a more masculine persona as a woman, i am sensitive and NOT like a man. must also realize that where two spirits gather, there is bound to be discord. your representatives need not apply. questions? contact me: phreethoughts@gmail.com." Seriously if you live in a bubble of what you want your ideal mate to be and you've had it before and it didn't turn out so well, maybe you ought to think about changing the scope of what you expect from someone or what you want in a mate whether they be physical qualities or whatever. and that is another thing....how often have you actually found someone who looked like they just stepped out of a photoshoot of King (or whatever you straight people read lol) and they actually balance it out with the mental? Keep going for those trophies and that is all they will be in your mind....past reminders of when you conquered something or in this case someONE.

This entry is simply to say....be yourself. I overstand the need to set the bar high when it comes to relationiships...yes i get that part....but if i find someone who is 95% of what i need in a woman and is only missing that small 5%, I won't be passing her up because she is "fat" or whatever the hell. That is stupid and superficial. You should kill yourself immediately. No like right now. KILL YOURSELF.

as you all were.

>:: must be something in the water ::<

...or the reverse because i haven't been inspired by anything....don't want to write...rap....spit poetry...nothing....it is truly a dry spell.

i'm becoming a bit of a recluse again....to the point that i am withdrawing from people who are close to me....i know it is a phase but i can't pinpoint what started it this time....maybe it is the natural Pisces in me and the need to swim freely...i haven't a clue....i don't consider it a bad thing because everyone needs space and time to themselves to figure out...life.

on a totally unrelated note......in an old journal on another site, i would always write of this woman that i loved beyond reasoning and understanding....and how i hated the fact that i did love her that way...and how i'd tried so hard to just get over her....and it just seemed fruitless....i stopped trying though...and i think she is one of those people that i'm supposed to be connected to for the rest of my life but i don't see the purpose any more....don't see why she keeps showing up in my dreams...and this could easily be overlooked if they were just dreams about fucking her but they aren't...they're endearing....like i'm supposed to take care of her....from a distance....and i don't even know how that is possible but that is all i can gather from them....so i guess i'm supposed to pray for her or keep her in my thoughts or SOMEthing....i just wish it wasn't so....again...because i don't want to keep rehearsing this dead play....i don't want her and i KNOW that for once....but whatev...my dreams are sometimes torturous reminders of what could have been...and what would never be because i'm not chasing it anymore....but...i'll say a silent one for her....and hope she hears my heart of concern....and doesn't take this as an ego stroke if she ever comes across this entry.

not much else to type about....life has been quiet....and with all the noise in the world right now, i welcome it with open arms.

as you were.

:: I'm trippin ::

i have to fall back. this is not me. and it isn't normal. and that is all i have to say about that.

carry on.

>:: Above It All ::<

inspiration always comes and goes....i lift my glass to toast someone that inspired me to write this erotic prose...and for the first time, it's not because i want her. pure inspiration. God i've missed that....enjoy!

"Above It All"

candlelight dawns spring forth signs of intimacy...ladden sheets across pillow topped mattresses....liquid subsidizing in massage oils...this wasn't supposed to happen...

but that is always the story of unexpected good intimacy....friendly we were....friendlier we became....this was a..."i know you're good at your job and my muscles are tense.".....deal....but the tension evades the inevitable of your eyes penetrating my soul....you're not paying attention...or maybe you are like i...trying to rise above it all...and overstand the respect of not crossing the line....but....here we are....twists strewn across eyelids....and a fast forward replay of when passion took hold of two souls....beaming with just enough light to peek into the darkness and say...it's okay....

it's hard to bear false witness when i'm watching you in your element....looking past my eyes and rubbing oils between fingertips....across my biceps...over my shoulders....across my temples....and i'm trying to be cool about this shit but it isn't working...you're smiling and saying "relax"....but again, you're not paying attention...or maybe you are....like i...trying to rise above it all...while you accidentally brush a fingertip across my lips...i can only imagine that you didn't see my eyes close with satisfaction....breathing in the scent of whatever the hell that is you're wearing...it is intoxicating...and turning me on...and it shouldn't but...queen...we see you...we being my third eye....the soul...we breathe your essence...we get lost in this moment when you are...doing your job...

i'm fading....fast...trying to regain my composure....you request..."turn over"....i know that was professional...i know...but it sounded..so...damn....good....now to ease tension in my back you combine movements against my skin....easing my muscles into relaxation...my face forward....move to my lower back....my eyes close...down to my calf muscles....i'm losing....you say..."your breathing change...relax this muscle"....i say..."i am relaxed"....you say...."turn over"....locked eyes....shit...i am screwed...i'm supposed to respect you...i'm supposed to know that this is only some crazy intense horny something other that i've conjured up....but something in that moment suggests that i'm not as crazy after all....you say..."okay i'm done"....i say...."great let me get my things"....

i've been in this place before....but why does your home seem more inviting now?.....watching you walk toward the door....my mind has taken over...i feel me walking behind you....i see the keys in your hands....i heard them drop to the floor....i felt my breathe on your neck.....heard your heart pace quicken....heard your breath change....felt my arms wrap around your waist....breathed in the scent of jojoba oils and mango....interesting combination....watched your shoulders tense....watched you turn around....you say..."what are you doing."....a statement.....i say..."nothing."....felt my hands rise to your face.....skin against skin....felt your skin temperature change....warm....comforting....but again, you're not paying attention...or maybe you are....like i...trying to rise above it all....

i saw...your jacket fall....felt my fingers unbutton your blouse....watched your eyes watch mine....saw the reluctance of accepting this...moment....watched my fingers slide behind your head...felt my body pull into you....watched your body relinquish some control...saw breath exchanged between us....watched my lips connect with yours....remembered that they were soft like i imagined....tongue included...shit....here we go....hands underneath blouse....shit....nipples erect....i have to put my mouth there....that's what i'm telepathically telling you....and physically oblige....felt your fingers in my twists....savor them like i haven't eaten in years....bite...just a little...place hand in the small of your back....push you against wall....watch you atop my shoulders with pants on....watch you atop my shoulders with Vicky's secret on....tease because i've been known to do this but i am....so...ready to have you....shit...still losing.....watch your legs over my shoulders....while on the couch.....i haven't taken anything off....kiss bikini area....tug at underwear with teeth.....kiss inner thighs.....but you're not paying attention...or maybe you are....like i...trying to rise above it all....

my mental has exited....at this moment it is my pleasure to please you....watch underwear disappear....kiss queendom...feel you shake.....flick tongues....introduce your queendom to me....say hello....bowing already.....breathe into life pulsating.....watch your eyes search your eyelids...suck softly....moaning...hands in my hair again....called jesus....God...and whatever deities would listen....breathing fast....sucking slow....playing with the juices bursting across my lips like....fresh strawberries....forgetting that...this is about respect...i am respecting....your decision to....release all internal intimacy....into my external surface....you're fighting me again...i don't want you to orgasm quick either....torture....i see it in your eyes....i feel it in your bodies rhythmic moving with my mouth.....i can't see you anymore....face buried.....lost count of how many times your queendom opened and shut on my chin.....you're getting closer....you say...."oh my god"....you say...."oh my god"....you say...."oh shit"....warning signal....slow down my pace.....tighten my lips around your clitoris.....holding the release in my lips....you say...."please....".....i....lick....licked....am licking....furiously....watch your body shake....in seizure like contortions.....an orgasm from the soul....still shaking....still squeezing....still releasing....and i...swallow.....and you're...not paying attention....or maybe you are....like i....trying to rise above it all.

HerSexy(Interlude) - Ms.Wyldchyld & Kajmir Royale

>:: a robust realization ::<

in most of my quiet moments, i reflect....like any natural hueman being...without the distraction of what's going in on the world...and focus more on what's going on in my world....there is turmoil...but it is only inner....i know this is the stage where i destroy and rebuild...and this time i'm a bit more sure of what to destroy...often times when you are seeking yourself, as i put it, you chop the good parts out because they've been intertwined with so much MESS....everyday is a day that i'm learning to love what it is about me that makes others smile and even venture to this here blog of mine...its a kind gesture that says "hey, you're interesting"...well maybe that is loosely interpreted but you all get the gist....

i'll recover me i'm sure....no one did anything to get me to this place but me....and i have the womanistic sense to gather every ounce of wisdom i've been given over the last few years of my life to try and turn it all around...it's going to hurt....no change or Seppuku (not THAT extreme but it flowed with the entry LOL) can go unmeasured in the volume of pain radiating from every body part....you have to take a good hard look at yourself and say i really do need to change...some days are harder to get out of the bed and face myself...and face reality....but you should all know something about me as well that's really important.....

.....i have always...and will ALWAYS....continue to be...

a WARRIOR.

carry on.

:: this can't be life.... (whose line is it anyway?) ::

There has to be more to my allure than just a deep stroke and hurricane tongue...i'm 1 mile to 30 and i'm at that awkward place (again) where i question my existence....who am i to the world? what is my struggle all about and in that regard, why is the struggle absolutely conducive to my ascension? My ex once said that anyone who's rich either got lucky or are fuckin criminals. I'd like to think the former is more true than anything but reviewing the current state of the economy and the masculine bastards that control it suggests...otherwise.

I don't like trying to figure me out at this stage of my life. I mean i should have gotten it at this point RIGHT? And yet i keep making these childish mistakes only to overstand....*snaps fingers twice*....nothing. right back at square one. I want to be more for someone than just good intimacy. the most important thing is getting reacquainted with self all over again. but for now, this...CANNOT...be...life....

....and i refuse to accept my propensity to make you orgasm as my only winning quality.

carry on.

:: i'm a poet muthafucka! ::

.....and you know you want me to talk dirty to you. observe. =)