>: "Purge" :<

(backdrop song to this write is "the calm")

release a ton of stress
let go of the pressure in my chest
giving 100% but it still ain't my best
treadmilling in circles gets me no rest

reaching out my hand to the empty feeling of air
twisted negativity where postive living is rare
and dealing with my problems with not a hint of pomp, circumstance, or flair
breathing in and out accepting the truth of being right here

i deal better when i'm all alone
cut off the technology and go into my zone
picking the bad nutrients and severed flower stems from my bone
floating aimlessly through life is the life of a drone

never asked for this pain
if you holding an umbrella over me i can still feel the rain
the holes in my psyche keep me humble and in my lane
but to prevent inevitable discord i just hide my disdain

its sensible to regroup and find solid ground
but its hard when your body keeps feeling like kapow
an explosion through your system while you're tilling at the plow
my faith was once strong but now its nowhere to be found

and unless you've been in my shoes...you can't make me choose
my alarm clock is ticking and i can't keep hitting snooze
can't ignore the obvious and my vice of choice is booze
but if i keep down this rugged path i will end up on the news

so you see my smile maintained
and my perception of someone in my corner began to wane
i imagine life is harder for those who have accepted the fame
money and trappings of a star make it easier to ignore the shame...unless you're Kurt Cobain

this is all from my head
sharing my personal strife is a choice that i dread
dealing with these demons will make you chase prison and feds
but its also the very reason why i'm not yet...dead.

if you truly can relate
you already know my fate
being strong in the face of opposition
the best direction i can head in...i just wish someone would listen
placing my crown underneath water is not so i can glisten
but mostly to drown out the world and hope i'm not found by an old man fishing

you may think i've given up
look again...this is the beginning of my rise
if you look into my eyes...
you'll see a warrior spirit with her focals on the prize
concentrating on the future and not looking back at my demise

just know my head is in the right place
i try to avoid mental brawls
but every now and again i, too, can hit some walls
trying to pick myself up and get to moving on my on
but facing reality and realizing at this moment my life is on....pause.

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